Roses by another name (Open)

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Roses by another name (Open)

Post  Elizabeth Rush on Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:48 pm

Walking in the rose garden had seemed like a really good idea at the time. It was outside, which was still something she got a kick out of, and there weren’t that many people there, and she could probably do with actually meeting some of these people. They’d think she was weird. She knew they’d think she was weird. She just couldn’t stop being so… polite. And not the socially acceptable form of polite. The ‘let the other person choose the topic, look interested, only laugh when you are certain the other person has made a joke’ sort of polite. The rose garden wasn’t helping with that. She felt like one of the plants, planted in a bed with strict borderlines and pruned to stay that way. Even though she was outside it seemed so unnatural. But then, it wasn’t exactly a way plants chose to be, they didn’t get a say in the matter. Well, not unless they’d come up with the technology to read the minds of plants somewhere along the way.

It was probably a thought like that which had caused her to stand in a corner of the garden, looking at it but not really seeing it. She felt stupid for doing it, for even letting the roses bother her, for letting her mind go there. But now she couldn’t seem to get back from it. So she stood in the far corner and stared at them, one hand picking at the hair behind her left ear. She felt it, sort of, but in a blurry way like hearing sounds underwater. It was like her hand wasn’t really listening to her any more. What was wrong with her? She couldn’t even work out what she was feeling, with it all churned up inside her. She wished Nin was here. At least she’d be able to talk almost like a person with feelings instead of slapping on a fake smile and being so polite it made her sick to watch herself do it. She just didn’t know how to be with people any more. It was true Nin was the only friend she really wanted but it’d be nice to be normal. Talk about… whatever it was normal people talked about.

She hated it, that every time she had any reason to talk to anyone who wasn’t Nin, she snapped back to where she’d been six months ago, talking to people and wanting desperately to tell them that this wasn’t her. Lizzy was still in there, somewhere, but buried beneath everything that had happened. She couldn’t even slouch any more. Not without thinking about it and trying to work out how.

Suddenly realising she’d spent the past few minutes staring into what, at this time of year, was a carefully shaped bed of thorns as if they held the secrets of the universe, she looked up and carefully looked around. This would be slightly awkward to explain. Especially when you took into account that talking about yourself was, generally speaking, something she’d got out of the habit of doing. Please let no one have noticed…
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Elizabeth Rush

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Re: Roses by another name (Open)

Post  Bethany Lark on Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:42 pm

Beth always liked the cold, weirdly. She liked how it make her cheeks and the tips of her ears go all red. But not cosmetic blush red, that true blood filled red. Like she'd snapped them a bunch with rubber bands. She liked how her skin felt numb and the pins and needles tingles she'd get when she went make inside. She liked the bite of cold air in her throat and nose. If ever every really thought about any of this she might realize that it all sounded vaguely self-harming and masochistic. But really, she didn't tend to occupy her mind with finding her own flaws. She could see enough of them at point-blank.

But really it wasn't about punishing herself in anyway. It was about that alive feel that came from feeling the force of reactions in her body. The freezing and thawing and blood rushing. Disappointingly it wasn't all that cold any more. Beth was used to a winter that held on just a little longer and even though it was a small difference she still felt a bit of a loss.

Wandering around outside in a gray knit beanie with her pale blonde hair hanging down in braids, she was happy to see someone else out there too. She smiled in her usual way and wandered over into the rose garden. Beth had been wondering how they'd look in the spring. She couldn't imagine who had the time around here to deal with them properly. But the bushes looked full. She couldn't quite tell what they were in for.

The other girl was starting into one of the bushes. Probably thinking the same thing Beth was. Just what did the spring hold for them? Red? Pink? Orange or white maybe? Beth had never been big on plants. She was always more into architecture than landscaping. Still, you couldn't have a cake without icing right? It would just be missing something. Sad and slightly off.

"Hey, I was just eyeing them too. You think they'll be nice in the spring? I guess it will depend on me kind of, or at least I hope so. I'm on Grounds for chores. Tending to the roses would be nicer than cutting the grass." She gave a little jaunty wave as she came to a stop by the girl. "I'm Beth."
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Re: Roses by another name (Open)

Post  Elizabeth Rush on Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:56 pm

Looking up at the girl Lizzy could almost feel the twenty first century slipping away. Like an elastic band that hadn’t been properly secured and suddenly stopped doing whatever it was supposed to. She was suddenly aware that her hand had detached itself from her head and shoved itself into her pocket at roughly the speed of light in a bid to hide the evidence. Which only made it more obvious, of course. She smiled awkwardly at the other girl, ignoring the plaits that appeared to be glaring at her, starkly obvious as reminders to mind her manners. “My name’s Lizzy. I’m very pleased to meet you, Beth.” She wanted to apologise for the words. “They will be beautiful, I’m sure.” No need to actually tell anyone what she’d been thinking. That wouldn’t be right, as if she’d be insinuating Beth was some kind of oppressor when all she’d do was trim a few plants. You had to cut them back, didn’t you? Something about getting them to bloom again, not that she was sure this applied to roses.

She cast around for something else to say. “Have you been here long?” She already knew Beth had been here longer than she had, being the only one in her dorm, but it was something to ask. She was supposed to try and socialise anyway. But what did people talk about? What was there to talk about when you hardly knew each other? The weather? No. Lizzy dismissed that thought faster than it had appeared. She might have trouble finding something to talk about but she was not going to discuss the weather. Not unless Beth brought it up, anyway… “I have stables chores, so…” So what? She couldn’t just leave it there, she had to say something. Something that made sense. “I suppose we’ll be outdoors more.” Well that was anticlimactic.

After an internal eye-roll and a plea to any listening deities that Nin would turn up she tried to think of something else to say. “Do you like it here?” Just once she’d like to come up with something that wasn’t boring. Once. She couldn’t even pick a subject. She should have just kept her mouth shut. It was beginning to feel like one of those days…
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Re: Roses by another name (Open)

Post  Bethany Lark on Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:00 pm

Beth tried to be a nice person most days. It could be a struggle at times, almost all the time really. But that "you catch more flies with honey" adage seemed to have a strong ring of truth. Beth wanted things like friend and allies and such. But people could be so difficult. They were always stepping on each other's toes and shoving each other about. Like they all knew a secret: there was only so much happiness in the world and you had to fight for limited resources like that. Sometimes Beth felt like that. When she was with Samson especially. He brought so much happiness into her world. When she'd seen other girls, women even, trying to take that from her... well... wouldn't you want to rip a few throats out? ... So to speak.

Lizzy. That was such a cute name. At least that was how Beth saw it. Very cute, very normal. Like everyone's best friend. Your childhood neighbour kid. The popular girl in middle school. All that. Lizzy Beth was a little like that too. Nice and normal sounding. Though maybe Beth was the name of neighbour Lizzy's fat mom or something. Beth had a bit more age and frump to it.

Too bad neither of the actual girls were actually nice, normal, and mundane.

"I got here right before Christmas. It was kind of nice, but also kind of shit. I mean... they had a big party and everythin' but at the same time... pretty well everyone's thinkin' about home, right? Which is kind of a total bummer."

Beth rolles her large blue eyes at the thought. They tried to cheer the place up but did it in that lame-adult way that just turned everything stupid and totally embarrassing. For both them and the patients. It was that kind of stuff that made Beth a bit glad she grew up without her mum. At least she was never directly connected to any shameful adult behaviour. Her grandparents have never really left the house enough to cause her those kinds of problems.

"It's alright I guess," the scottish blonde gave a little nonchalant shrug. "I have a lot more space here then I had at my group home... But way more chores here... so it's kind of a trade off. But I miss my best friend and Edinburgh and stuff.... What about you? Where ya from?"
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