Tara Anne Barlow

Resident Full Name: Tara Anne Barlow
Resident Date of Birth: 10/14/1995
Resident Age: 16
Resident Gender: Female
Current Address: 31 Bibury Ave
City/Town: Patchway
County/State: Gloucestershire
Country: England

Resident Hair Colour: Dirty Blonde.
Resident Eye Colour: Brown
Resident Height: 5'4”
Resident Weight: 132 lbs
Distinguishing Marks: I have an upturned nose, which if you know anything about where I come from, you'd know pretty well everyone has this nose. The tip of the iceberg as far as the trouble with inbreeding. I have my stretchmarks-on my stomach and thighs mostly-from when I was carrying Vivien. Then there are my scars, mostly there's the straight lines on the inside of my forearms from where the ruler broke the skin and the pock marks in my knees from kneeling on rice. And then there's my hair, it's torn up from my trich. Normally I pull from the bottom, so it's not too hard to hide the bald spots.

Do you have any ongoing medical conditions for which you require long-term treatment or medications?
No. Kind of a miracle all things considered.

Are you aware of any allergies you may have to foods, medications or environmental elements? If so, please list them below along with age of onset.
I developed a sensitive stomach over the course of my pregnancy and it's stuck around since. Too much red meat or anything that's really spicy doesn't sit well with me. Not an allergy but there you go...

Do you take any other medications or drugs not prescribed to you, or participate in the consumption of alcohol or tobacco?
No. I'm a fuck up, but I do have a daughter to think about. Second hand smoke kills, you know.


Where were you born and where did you grow up? What was it like there?
I was born in Bountiful, British Columbia, Canada. I don't know if many people outside of Canada have heard of it. It's a Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints colony out in a rural valley of the Rocky Mountains. FLDS is the break-out sect of the Mormon church that still practices polygamy. Outwardly, I guess it doesn't look as bad as the sects in Utah and Arizona. We didn't wear those hideous pastel prairie dresses, we just dressed modestly in whatever colour and cuts we wanted. But beyond that it was all the same. Men with more wives then they could possibly have loving relationships with, child brides, and every variety abuse under the guise of a religious life. Rural B.C. is like a sacred land of mind your own business. Every second house is growing pot somewhere between their cherry trees. Polygamy was just another thing to turn a blind eye to.

Please describe your relationships with your biological family, including parents, and siblings if applicable.
I have one father and four mothers ranging in age from 42 to 21. I have over 20 siblings, though only 5 of those are full-blood-siblings. Or at least I had before I left, it's probably changed since then. My birth mother didn't favor me in anyway. She wouldn't have been allowed to. I developed trichotillomania when I was about eight or nine, so ever since then I was a problem child. My father's discipline was normal for the colony but now that I'm out I've come to understand it fell under the definition of abuse. He'd make me kneel on rice if he caught me pulling. If I didn't manage to stop myself, if I talked back, or if he found torn out hair in the house, that's when I'd get the ruler. When I was young he'd have one of my mother's hold my arms but as I got older I had to submit or risk something worse. He'd beat the ruler down on my arms until he saw blood. Sometimes that wasn't even enough.
At this point in time, since my escape, my family has been widdled down to three other people. My daughter Vivien, my brother (half, he had a different birth mother) David, and his partner Hail. David adopted me after my escape as I didn't legally exist at the time. (In Bountiful we educated just enough women to have enough midwives and nurses to make sure women of any age could give birth privately on the colony with no need to raise eyebrows in Creston or legally register the birth.) Shortly afterwards he and Hail married and once Vivien was born I signed over her guardianship to them. They're wonderful people and I'm lucky to have them in my life. My new family is the only good thing I have.

How were/are you in school? How are your grades? Do you enjoy school?
FLDS 'schools' don't teach the same things as regular schools do. So if you want me to quote scripture or mend your socks I'll do fine. Ask me to write a biology paper and we're going to have problems. I liked school when I was going. I was pulled out at twelve to better learn how to run a house. I got married at fourteen, ran away from the ranch and ended up at the Hope Shelter which was built to shelter FLDS types who just got out. They enrolled me in night school but I was doing abysmally. Since then I've been kind of up-rooted what with the moving around and such and I haven't got around to restarting my education.
The one thing I've always been okay at is reading and writing. I'm just happy to have things to read beyond the bible and the book of Mormon.

Do you participate in any extracurricular activities or belong to any after-school clubs?
I can sew and sing pretty well. I don't think you want me to list Craiglist as an activity here.

If you no longer reside with your biological family, please describe any previous homes as well as your current situation.
I moved out of my parents home when I was assigned to be married. This happened when I was fourteen. I have 3 and a half hours notice before the ceremony and afterwards my things were moved into my new husband's home, along side the things of his other three wives. I lived there for about three weeks before I ran away. I had always convinced myself that things would get better once I was married and out of my Father's house.
I lived at the Hope Foundation shelter when I first got out, it's a shelter in Creston, B.C. For people who have left, escaped, or been thrown out of the colony. Getting thrown out doesn't happen as much in B.C. As it does in the states, Blackmore the leader of the colony usually sends the extra boys (and the Lost Boys that come up from the states) work up north in his logging company. But my brother David was one of the few who got kicked out. He was gay which makes him an extreme case, I guess, even though Blackmore's spoken out about not hating gay people. He likes to paint himself as the gentler FLDS leader, but it's all a lie. The woman who runs the shelter, Sheila Fawn, contacted David for me and eventually once they made sure I legally existed David adopted me and I moved out to Kelowna with him since that's where he was living with Hail at the time.
I lived with David in Kelowna for about a year. Before we moved there I had found out I was pregnant by my husband. It was just another reason to get far away. Shortly after Vivian was born David and Hail decided to get married and act as her guardians. Hail had been living in Canada on a work Visa and his contract was up. I'd got a few letters from my sister wives asking me to come back and it scared me. So we decided to move to Bristol area since that was where Hail grew up. I miss B.C. it's a beautiful place to live and I like the mountains and lakes and everything. England's interesting, I felt like it took my ages to start understanding what people were saying to me. Hail doesn't have a very strong accent unless he's been drinking. Most things outside of the FLDS though, I've kind of latched on to them. I love reading and meeting new people. I feel like there was this big, mysterious world out there and now it's forbidden fruit is finally mine. Not in a bad, kicked out of Eden kind of way though... like a really happy dog that just stole a whole chicken off the table.

Do you have many/any friends? If so, please describe them.
I don't really have any. Between the hectic pace of my life and all the moving friendship just hasn't really happened.

Are you sexually active? Are you aware of any gender preference, or preferences in intimate practices, activities or situations?
Earlier than I should have been obviously. I was married off at fourteen to my husband “for life and all eternity” Raymond.
After I got out of the FLDS, I was mostly just trying to deal with the fact that he left a baby inside me. Although I consider Vivien a blessing, at the time I was broken in the worst ways. I was scared. I tried to help myself by finding and joining an online form for women with unexpected pregnancies. After a while I was contacted by a man. He offered me a great deal of money to just go have coffee with him. Chat and stuff. Basically for a date. I was worried about taking care of Vivien, even with David and Hail helping me, so I agreed. We went out, mostly he just told me how beautiful I looked. It felt nice. He really put me on a pedestal, which I'd never had before. As time went on he kept in touch with me. Always offering more money for something a little more. For me to meet him in private, or to touch my belly, or give me a foot rub or something. He'd beg to do things like that, just for the right to pamper me or treat me nice or whatever. Obviously he had a thing for pregnancy.
That was how it started. After I had Vivien and once I got to England, I started to really miss that feeling. I wanted to feel beautiful and I wanted to feel in control. So I turned to the internet again, it's probably my favourite part of being out in the modern world even if I am really bad at typing. I ended up discovering Craigslist. I started messaging guys who talked about things like worship and wanting to be dominated. Eventually I started meeting with them, and yes, being sexual with them. I found I'd meet up with these guys, feeling nothing towards them, but once they'd give them selves up to me and let me hurt them or endanger them, that's when I suddenly start to feel an attraction. Now it's very clear. This is the only thing that works for me any more. I'm a sadist.

Have you ever knowingly committed a crime? Were you caught and convicted? If convicted, what was your sentencing?
Yes, There was one time I went to meet a guy who'd offered me some money to speed up the process (I normally get to know a guy better online first), he turned out to be undercover. I was charged with prostitution. That was just... dumb. Of me and of them. I got ASBO for that.
Then, I met up with one guy, he said he was into breatheplay but I guess he just wanted to experiment. He ended up reporting me to the cops saying I assaulted him. That second charge was how my brother's custody of me was first questioned, and why they revoked his custody most recently. And I got more ASBO, and counselling and a group home stay. Now they say I might be better off with you.
Since then, I haven't stopped. The folks at the group home don't really have the resources to tie me down. They've done their best to scare me, talking about diseases in blood and serial killers. It takes a lot more than words to scare me though I guess. Words are just words. I just... it's the only thing that makes me feel good outside of being with Vivien. I just feel like everything is constantly welling up in me. But when I have someone helpless, I can just work out everything on them. It's the only release I have at this point.


Have you ever been diagnosed with any psychiatric ailments by a medical or psychiatric professional? If yes, please explain below.
I was diagnosed with trichotillomania shortly after my escape, by a psychologist friend of Sheila's from the Hope Foundation. But I had it for a long time before that. I can't remember a time when I didn't have a weird little fixation on my hair.
After was charged with assault they sent me to a councillor. That one diagnosed me a sadist. They were trying to decide if David and Hail were capable of taking care of me. They decided they weren't.

Please describe any incidents associated with these ailments, such as antisocial behaviours, social or environmental difficulties, incidents of self harming, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, substance abuse, etc.
I don't think there was a time in my life when I didn't have social difficulties. I've never fit and I've never fuctioned like everyone else. It's chicken-or-egg thing.

Have you ever seen a licensed psychiatric professional, psychologist, or counsellor for these ailments? If yes, please list doctor(s) or counsellor(s) below:
Dr. Debra McDonald in Nelson, B.C. the only psychiatrist in the area. She drove out to Creston to meet me. Then from Bristol I saw Dr. John Moore-Emmett.

Do you take any medications for any diagnosed psychiatric ailments? If yes, please list medication, dosage, and frequency of dosage below:
Since I stopped breastfeeding Vivian I started taking Clomipramine. 50Mg a day for my trich. It's helped a bit but I haven't stopped pulling, just slowed down a bit. David and Hail were getting money together to book me new psychiatrist appointments when things got messy.

Have you ever been admitted to a short or long-term psychiatric facility as a result of these ailments or associated incidents?
I spent a week in a Bristol psychiatric facility with Dr. Moore-Emmett while he assessed me.

How do you feel these ailments affect your quality of life or your situation in life?
I don't think I can be a proper Mom to Vivien when I'm like this: getting in trouble and tearing my own hair out. I want to find a way to be happy and healthy, but in the meantime, the least I can do is take the burden of me off David and Hail so they can focus on my child instead of me. Because even though I'm not in their home at this point they still check on me all the time. Maybe more than they did when I was with them.

If you could be cured of your ailments, what would your goals in life be?
I just want to be a good mom, and maybe feel at ease.

How do you feel these goals would be best attained?
If I knew, I'd do it myself. Immediately.

Why do you feel you are being referred to Highgrove, and by whom?
I am being referred to Highgrove because I choked someone out in a cheap hotel room. The doctor informs me that this isn't normally and that you folks will treat me at no cost to my family. Oh and the group home wants me gone.


Hello, and thank you for meeting with me today. Our interview today will be recorded for review later. I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and I'd like for you to answer as fully as you are able. I'd like to start by asking you how you're feeling today.
Hi... I feel... normal? Maybe a little restless.

Okay. And how are you feeling about this opportunity to join our family at Highgrove?
I'm mixed. I mean, I don't want to leave my real family obviously. Vivien, David, and Hail are the best bits I've ever had in my life. I can't imagine having a life without them again. It's kind a moot point though, since I've already been removed from their custody. But all signs seem to point to this being what I need to do. So I guess another family on my list of families is something I can do.

If you could alter one event in your life, what event do you think you would change or remove, and why?
I wouldn't have been born where I was.

If you had to describe yourself in only three words, what words would you choose and why?
Mother, Curious, and Wandering.

How do you feel currently about your life so far, and anything you may have done?
I feel...
Patient Observation: the patient re-adjusts her position on the chair as she hesitates. Since the beginning of the interview Miss Barlow has been touching her hair, for the first time an obvious pull is seen.
..I guess confused, I don't know how I ended up here sometimes. I mean why I didn't just end up another obedient wife living in Bountiful and popping out babies. I don't know. If I knew how to be normal, I'd try. I just don't function that way.

What would you do if you found a stranger being attacked by another stranger, and why?
Shout for help? Maybe try to stop the attacker. It would depend I guess, if they had a weapon or something. Maybe just hide and call the police if I thought I'd be really in danger.

What would you do if you were being threatened by a stranger, and why?
Patient Observation: More pulling observed here.
I hate to say I'd probably try to fight back or at least argue with them or yell at them. I sent so much time being told to be submissive and sweet that I feel like, sometimes I try to do everything in the world to not be that any more.

Have you ever deliberately harmed yourself, another, or animals in the past? If so, why do you think that was?
Yes I have. Though all of them asked for it at some point. Outside of consensual instances I have never hurt anyone. Inside though, yeah, I've hurt a lot of people. And I'll continue to do so. Sex is violence: it's messy and painful and raw. If you take all those things away, the world population would die out, no one would want it. Not really.

And lastly, what do you hope to find at Highgrove, and how do you think this will help you to learn and grow?
As I said in the written part, I need to find a way to make myself into a person who can be a happy, healthy mom. I'm not sure what that entails and what it will take, but I'm hoping if nothing else this place can help me move towards that.

This concludes our interview for today. Thank you for filling out our application and speaking with me. We will contact you or your guardian shortly with our decision or recommendations.In the meantime, enjoy the rest of your day. Goodbye.


Is there anything your character is not telling us? Do they have any dirty or dark little secrets they're omitting from their application? Please explain below.
Tara Anne was married at fourteen but she doesn't talk about the fact that she wasn't a virgin when that happened. She doesn't recall exactly when it first started but she was sexually abused from a young age. Sexual child abuse happens frequently in the community due to the fact that a) the females educated about their bodies at all (They're taught that their future husbands will teach them) so often they aren't even entirely sure what happened. And b) the fact that, since virginity and chastity is so strongly emphasized victims rarely speak out for fear of stigma.


Player Nickname: Kels
Player Chatango Name: KelseyLynnn
Character Playby: Hannah Murray

But don't fret! Just follow the steps given to you below and edit your application appropriately. When you're done, please reply to this thread to let us know that the application has been edited, and we will review it again.

• So close! This is a light one so just roll with me. It'll take no time at all. Tara's immigration to England is a little vague. When did she move over? Why so far? From my understanding, while it's easier to go from Cananda to England, it's not an overnight process. Also, for a girl not knowing a lick about the world beyond the FDLS it'd probably be quite a shock. So if you could just expand on this and give a clearer timeline that'd be super.
  
• Tara's sadism doesn't seem to be a big problem right now. She got in trouble once for breath play gone wrong but outside of that everything else seems to have been consensual. One incident wouldn't be enough for her to be taken away from her brother. She'd probably get court mandated counseling and some community service for a first offense. She's also very willing to change and become a better person. Why hasn't she gone to proper therapy? This kind of attitude would make me think that she'd do anything to stay near Vivian.
  
• It's stated in our rules that residents cannot be sent by the courts as punishment for committing a crime. While it doesn't specifically spell this out I feel that it's a little close to that line. She gets in trouble and is then taken away and sent to Highgrove. Tara will either need to be sent by family, and thus custody of her turned over to the state, or be taken away and spend time in the system before being sent.
  

Edited to include more details on the move, a prostitution charge, some ASBO and custody being pulled. :]

Resident Full Name: Tara Anne Barlow
Resident Age: 16
Resident Gender: Female
Known Diagnoses: Trichotillomania, Sexual Sadism

Dormitory Number: Dormitory 5
Bunk Number: 05 Bottom
Assigned Chores Group: Household Chores
Assigned Therapist: Dr. Gunner Bjorgen

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