Laura Richardson

**Laura Richardson** Thu Dec 29, 2011 11:17 am

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Written Interview

Laura Richardson Img-thing

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Spoken Interview With Highgrove Representative

Representative: Thank you for meeting with me today. We will now begin the recorded interview. I will ask you a series of standard questions. Please try to answer them to the best of your ability. So, firstly, how are you feeling today?

Resident: Ok. Um… I’m ok. I got upset earlier because they keep poking me to make me cry and I ask them not to and they won’t. So that makes me sad. But then I did some drawing and hid somewhere secret for a bit and then I felt a bit better but then some people threw my shoes and socks and hairbands and bag and jumper in a tree and I had to climb up to try and get them back but then I had to come and talk to you and that makes me nervous in case they aren’t there later or I hurt the tree or they put mud all over things or it falls off and hurts someone or an animal or something and I’m nervous about talking to you too. I mean… you’re nice. I think. But I’m nervous in case you touch me. Or I hurt you. By accident. I wouldn’t do it on purpose because I don’t want to and that’s bad and I want you to like me. Or if I say the wrong thing because I don’t know the answers to lots and lots of things. So I’m sort of up and down. How are you? Are you ok?
Patient observation: Patient is barefoot and begins to bite nails nervously, looking out of the window frequently.

Representative: And what circumstances have led you to apply for residency at the Highgrove Home for Children?

Resident: I didn’t do it, the people in charge did, but they asked me first and I said ok. So it might have been Tom or Jenny or… maybe someone else. But they say they can’t look after me properly because I like my uncle and I get really scared over little things, like when Megan took my red pencil and that time I moved a folder so I could sit down and I got upset because I thought maybe they wouldn’t find it and I’d get in trouble and maybe I’d done something bad even though I put it back like it was. It’s probably because I went to stay with some nice people called John and Helen for a while and they were nice but it was hard because they wanted to hug me and I couldn’t do that in case they got sick and I got upset about little things, and it was hard because we didn’t really know how to do things together because they didn’t want me to keep getting upset and I didn’t want them to die and then one day I got the bus from school and I wondered what would happen if I kept going and I thought maybe if I kept going it would take me somewhere where Uncle Kenneth is, and I though London would be a good start because it’s big and has lots of people but it didn’t go there. It took me into a place with lots of forest and little villages and then I had to get off. So I sat down on the side of the road and had a think because it was getting dark and cold and I didn’t know what to do. And then it rained a little bit and a policeman came along and asked me who I was and I told him and he said they were looking for me. And then I got upset because I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t think it would be like that, I don’t know what I thought. And they asked me why running out of paper makes me really really nervous and doing that didn’t and I said I didn’t know. I think it’s because I want to be with Uncle Kenneth again. More than anything else, even more than I like drawing because he makes me feel safe and he’s nice and helps me and he didn’t hurt me lots and lots like they said, only when I was bad and then I knew not to do it again and if I didn’t remember then I’d learn and I would be safe for other people near me, like the man upstairs. And then they sat down with me when all the police people had gone and I’d said sorry and John and Helen said they didn’t think they were the right people to look after me either, and we said I’d go back. I hoped they meant back with Uncle Kenneth but I had to go back to the home instead and people poked me all the time again.
Patient observation: Patient appears agitated, appears very anxious to make it understood her uncle was not ‘a bad man’.

Representative: Do you have any medical conditions we should be aware of? If so, please explain.

Resident: I’m evil and if I touch people really really bad things can happen but if they hit me that’s ok and maybe if I’m wearing lots of layers and a big winter coat then it’s not so really really bad. I had some melon for the first time ever here in some fruit salad and it made my lips really itchy and they swelled up and everyone laughed at me. But I think that’s it.

Representative: Have you ever been diagnosed with a psychiatric illness? If yes, have you ever been hospitalised or sent to a special care facility for these illnesses?

Resident: They said I have Stockholm syndrome which is funny because I’ve never been there. I don’t think I know where it is. Is it in Sweden? Or maybe France. Or Germany or Spain. And they said I have generalised anxiety because I get really worried about things that don’t matter lots. Like when Megan took my pencil. And they said because I don’t hurt myself because Uncle Kenneth said I don’t do it right and they don’t think I hurt other people I didn’t need to go to a hospital and I told them again that I hurt people and they sighed at me. But they said they didn’t know what to do with me. They said I'm not delusional because I was brought up believing everything and I asked if people who believed in aliens were delusional and they said no not exactly but if they believed they could read your brain they would and then I said what if the person was right and aliens really were trying to read his mind and they said we were getting off the subject.
Patient observation: Patient appears confused.
I don't think it makes sense. They said uncle Kenneth heard things that weren't there that told him how to help me but that's not delusional either. But they don't know about if the voices were real, because they can't prove God and angels and ghosts don't exist. So I think he's right. And you have to be safe with things. Like more people get killed by toasters than sharks but most people don’t have a shark in their kitchen, I’m like a shark. There’s only one of me but I’m very very dangerous to people so I have to be careful.
Patient observation: Patient plays with hair, still glancing out of the window.

Representative: How does your current state of mind affect your day to day life? Are there any incidences of note which you feel are a direct result of your state of mind, such as suicide attempts, arrests, hospitalisations, et cetera?

Resident: Well, the time with the bus and the policeman. That happened because I want to be with my uncle and they keep saying no, he’s a bad man and he isn’t. He was just helping me to understand things and I want to be good. And when people poke me and pull my hair and take my things and touch me on purpose to make me upset. It would be ok if it hurt properly but it doesn’t so it’s dangerous and I don’t want them to die, they’re nice people but they just don’t understand. And then I have to come and talk to you because my brain works differently. And at school I have to have different work from other people and they say it’s because I’m stupid but the grown ups say it’s because I didn’t go to school since I was nine so I don’t know anything. I know about drawing and some bits about animals too. I know that in winter the spectacled eider ducks all get together, all of them in the whole world, and they go in the arctic, I think. But just the eider duck without the spectacled part don’t do that. They have lots of little groups and sometimes they accidentally get it wrong and they die, which is sad. And I know that if you hide in the cupboard under the sink people don’t find you very fast.

Representative: have you ever harmed yourself, others, or animals? If yes, please explain.

Resident: Sort of. When I lived with uncle Kenneth I hurt myself one time because I thought it would help me not be evil and things but he said it doesn’t work like that because doing it to myself isn’t going to help as much as when other people hurt me because I’m evil so I’ll pretend it hurts more than it really does and I’ll think that’s true and it’s helping but it’s not. Because the evil bit of my brain will stop me hurting me properly. Uncle Kenneth helped me with that, but the people here won’t, not even if I explain a million times. They say it’s not right or they’re not allowed or that I’m creepy.
Patient observation: Patient appears bothered by this, but unsure as to how this behaviour is considered inappropriate.
I try very hard not to hurt people but if they touch me or my blood or my tears they can get hurt by bad accidents or they get sick or they might die. That’s why I have to be really really careful and not cry, even when I’m very upset. I like animals. I wouldn’t want to hurt them… I stepped on a ladybird by accident once though. Did you mean that? I didn’t mean to hurt it. I didn’t see it there. I didn’t do it on purpose, I promise.
Patient observation: Patient appears to suffer increased anxiety due to this last point.

Representative: We understand you are having trouble at your current place of residence. Could you please describe the problems you are having, and the results or repercussions that have come about because of them?

Resident:
Patient observation: Patient fidgets, clearly uncomfortable.
The other people who live here don't like me being here. And I have to go and see a psychiatrist lady and she wanted me to take things to be less nervous but I don't want them. And she only wants to talk about bad things. They say I'm crazy and I'm stupid and they don't like me and they wish I'd die because I'm so bad at being alive and things. I'm not good at being here. I want to go back to Uncle Kenneth because he helped me do safe things and not be bad. I get very nervous here too because I don't know where everything is supposed to go and I worry that I'll make things go wrong all the time about everything and school is hard because I can't do the same things as other people because I can't divide or understand what to do with fractions. I know about the spectacled eider ducks, but I need to know trigonometry and physics instead and knowing about animals doesn't count, not even when you can tell people all about how in Africa there are full grown pigs the size of bunny rabbits.

Representative: What five words would you use to best describe yourself?

Resident: Evil. And... Drawer. Is that a word? I'm not an artist because I'm not very good but I like drawing so I'm a drawer. And. Um. Bad. And stupid because all the people say that and... Niece! I'm a niece too. Uncle Kenneth didn't call me that but I am even though he's my godfather and not a brother of my mum or dad, aren't I? I call him an uncle and he's my favourite person.
Patient observation: Patient becomes anxious, unsure of whether ‘niece’ qualifies as a correct word.

Representative: Do you have many friends? Could you describe your relationships and where you met these friends?

Resident: I'm not really allowed friends in case they want to touch me, but it's ok if they understand but I haven't found anyone yet. They say I'm babyish and don't want to talk to me. Uncle Kenneth's my friend, sort of. He helps me and that's what friends do. But no one else. He’s always been there and he looked after me lots when I was a baby because my Dad wasn’t around a lot and… um… I made my mum die.
Patient observations: Patient begins to bite nails and draws knees up to her chest, clearly uncomfortable.
So there weren’t other people. And then I got bigger and my dad went away because I didn’t stay in my wardrobe because I didn’t know he was home when he was and he got very cross and I went to school in the morning all on my own because I thought I was doing the right thing and the teachers got upset and then they called the police and people and they don’t know where he is so then I went to live with some other people for a little while and I wasn’t allowed to be with uncle Kenneth because they said he didn’t look after me properly when he did, and then one day Uncle Kenneth picked me up after school when I was walking because the high school the boys who stayed with the same people as me went there and we didn’t cross roads and I pretended to forget my coat so I had to go back and walk on my own not with other people, and I stayed with a friend of his friend for a little while and then Uncle Kenneth’s friend told the police he was with him, which was lying but it was ok because it meant he can stop me hurting people and then we went away and I was eight then and the police came round to talk to him about me sometimes and I had to hide in the bit under the bath but I was littler then and it was ok, like hide and seek, but more important, and they said they couldn’t find me anywhere which was weird because I was right there. And then they left us alone, and he found a new job and I drew lots and it was ok for a really long time. And then I was almost fourteen and it all went wrong because I was bad.
Patient observation: Patient provides this information in a rush, as if to get it overwith. She appears distressed and continues nail biting while drawing patterns on the arm of the chair with her finger. Avoids eye contact.

Representative: How would you describe your relationship with your biological family? Did you spend much time with them? Do you have any siblings?

Resident: My mum… um. I didn’t get on very well with my dad, he didn’t like me very much, probably because I made my mum die when I was a baby and things. But he wasn’t there lots and he’s been gone since I was eight and I haven’t seen him and I don’t think anyone knows what happened. I told you about… you know. With my mum. I didn’t mean it. She had to have an operation for her teeth because they were making all her other teeth hurt because she had new teeth at the back and they said it was anaesthetic but it wasn’t, it was me and I didn’t mean it and I’m sorry.
Patient observation: Patient appears distressed, continuing to bite fingernails. Takes a few deep breaths before continuing.
Um. Uncle Kenneth said I had a brother but he fell down the stairs and died before I was born and he was a toddler and I don’t know anything else about him.

Representative: Are you sexually active? If yes, are you aware of any sexual preferences regarding gender or situation?

Resident:
Patient Observation: Patient appears to find this amusing, giggles.
That sounds like you have to push a button!
Patient observation: Patient thinks hard for a second, apparently unsure of the answer to the question, is confused by the terms used.
I'd know if I was, wouldn't I? I like boys. I like girls too, but like in a friend way and not a boyfriend way.

Representative: Where did you grow up, and what was it like there? How do you feel about where you grew up?

Resident: I live in Kent and I used to live in Dorset, and it was ok because I had uncle Kenneth with me except for a little bit when I lived with some other people. But I was only there for a little while before uncle Kenneth came to pick me up from school, and then we moved to Kent. We lived in a big house and we lived in the middle and there was a man who lived on the top floor who worked at funny times and Uncle Kenneth didn’t talk to him and an old lady who lived on the bottom floor. She had the telly on loud because she couldn’t hear properly and she talked to her plants and I’d sit on the table next to the window and pretend she was talking to me. But one day she left the telly on for hours and hours instead of normal when she did her plants and watched countdown and I told uncle Kenneth about it and he said she was probably sleeping but then it was still on at midnight and he went to look and she died because I didn't remember not to walk on the floor in the daytime. And then some new people moved in and they were a man and a lady and one day they wanted to make the gutters work and the man who was supposed to come didn't do it for weeks and there were problems or something, then they climbed up the ladder and saw me drawing and I got scared and ran away in the kitchen and then they chatted to uncle Kenneth and asked him if he lived alone and he said yes and they said oh well it must be nice not to have to clean up after other people and you could eat what you liked and he said yes, that was good and they talked some more and then he came inside and I told him and he was cross with me and it was really bad and all my fault and the next day they climbed up the ladder again and I think they saw me even though I was hiding because the kitchen didn't have a door and I was peeking because I was hungry and I wanted to see if it was safe to make a sandwich and it wasn't and they saw me peering round the corner and they tapped on the window for a bit and then they went down the ladder and they talked for a little bit and phoned the police and I tried to hide in the bit under the bath like I did when the police came to see him before to tell him they couldn't find me but it didn't work because I couldn't put it back and I'm bigger now and when he came home the police came in and there wasn't time to hide and they took him away.
Patient observation: Patient provides this information in a second rush, apparently aware this is something that would need to be brought up. Refuses to elaborate, looks distressed, chews harder on her fingernails and puts head on her knees, drawn up to her chest. She takes some deep breaths probably to ward off tears, then sits up again.

Representative: How is school? What are your grades like, and do you enjoy it? Do you participate in any after-school activities?

Resident: I don’t like school. I have to do different work and the people there don’t like me and then I have to go outside because if I don’t I’ll cry and then bad things will happen but the teachers don’t like it and say I need to ask first but I get upset and then I forget all of that. And I stay in the library instead of going to my lessons because I didn’t like people poking me and then they got cross and I can’t tell them who did it because I don’t want them in trouble, I want them to like me and it’s all complicated… My grades aren’t good because I don’t know about lots of things. I wanted to do art club but the people who are in it don’t like me and I don’t want them to be sad.

Representative: What do you hope to find at the Highgrove Home, and how do you feel about potentially becoming a resident there?

Resident: They said you have cows and maybe I could see more people whose brain's don't work right and they want me to get better. Can I climb trees where you are?
Patient observation: Patient gnaws fingernails nervously, avoids eye contact. Is clearly unsure about moving away.
Can I go and be with Uncle Kenneth again? Then you won't need to worry. They say they're going to make him go away forever and I don't want him to. It's my fault anyway and we weren't hurting people. He helps me and if he doesn't help me bad things will happen and they'll be all my fault.
Patient observation: Patient runs toes in circles on the carpet, biting the nails on her left hand.
Can I go? Only I need to get my shoes and socks and bag and hairbands and jumper out of the tree. Did I explain it right? Um... Do you think I'm crazy and a freak too? Because people do. They don't believe anything I say. Will you be there if I go to your place with the cows?

Representative: Lastly, how do you feel about what you have done so far with you life, looking back on it. If you have done unacceptable things, how do you now feel about those?

Resident: I don’t like it. I want to be good and not bad and I wish I had hid somewhere that time with the ladder and I wish the police believed me and I really really wish I didn’t hurt my mum when I was a baby and I wish I made friends at my new school and that I didn’t have to do different work.
Patient observation: Patient is clearly keen to leave, but is unwilling to do so due to anxiety that she may hurt the representative’s feelings.

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Out Of Character Section

Is there anything your character isn't telling us? Do you have more information to add about your character that they would not tell the representative about? Please explain below:
Some of the other pupils will pull her hair or touch her deliberately in a bid to watch her struggle with trying not to cry while struggling to explain why it's bad to do so before leaving the room (with or without the teachers permission) in order to escape her classmates long enough to compose herself. Unfortunately this has led to her being in trouble as the teachers fail to understand what makes her so upset as Laura is desperate to be liked and won't tell anyone who taunts her. She feels the school's rules are far less important than the ones her uncle gave her.
There is one exception to the rule that prevents her from lying: she is never allowed to mention the sexual abuse she suffered from her uncle or anything around that topic.

Character Playby: Eliza Bennett
Player Nickname:Ducky
Chatango Username:Lariduck
Preferred Chore Assignment Group: Livestock chores

**Ghost** Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:53 pm

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Resident Information & Assignments

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