Another One Bites the Dust (Faith/Kizzy)

Laura had decided now would be a good time for saying sorry to Faith for whatever she’d done. She wasn’t sure what it was really, but she knew Faith was cross at her. Maybe she’d asked to pick up eggs too much? She didn’t really know. But she was going to say sorry, and there was no better way to say sorry than with tree frogs. Everyone knew tree frogs were the most apologetic of all the amphibians. Well, Laura did and Uncle Kenneth seemed to think so too, so that was good enough for Laura.

After a while and a lot of pencil on her hands, up her sleeves and somehow smudged on her face, Laura finished colouring and was almost surprised that she had made a tree frog. Hopefully it’d be good for Faith. She didn’t know Faith’s favourite animal except that it probably wasn’t chickens. Otherwise she might like the eggs a lot more. But she couldn’t remember if she’d asked. And if she had asked she couldn’t remember the answer. But you didn’t often go wrong with tree frogs. Everybody liked them. Like polar bears, only with less biting and cold. More wet though. Even though there was lots of frozen water up there it was very dry because the water hadn’t been wet for quite a while. It was odd to think about, but there you were.

She found a spare bit of scrap paper that had only got half a rainbow cloud thing on it and wrote in her very best handwriting To Faith, I’m sorry I make you upset all the time so I drew you a tree frog to say sorry, from Laura. That would have to do, she wasn’t sure how else to put it. Now all there was to do was give it to her, which sort of made Laura nervous for some reason. She missed only worrying about the rules sometimes. People got quite confusing.

After a small wander up to the dorm she placed the picture and note carefully on Faith’s pillow and bounced back onto her own bed. She wanted to make sure Faith got it. Which was why the second Faith arrived in the room Laura blurted “Faith I drew you a picture because I’m sorry for… um… everything so I drew you a picture. I hope you like it, I put it on your bed.” She was gnawing her graphite-smudged thumbnail and bouncing a little. It helped when you felt like running around because you were nervous and couldn’t because you had to be in one place. Talking to cows worked as well but there weren’t any in the dorm, which would have been nice. Maybe she’d go and talk to them later.

Faith was walking back from completing her chores alone and late, having had to wait in the chicken yard until Kizzy was done being a whore. She'd been a few minutes late (when she picked up a chicken in the little hut to see if there was an egg underneath, it had shat on her, which caused an immediate freakout) and had been ready to go and see if Remi was done, so they could head back to the main building together, when she saw that he was already doing so. With Kizzy.

It wasn't as though they walked back together often (twice, she remembered, to date) but it was different. Faith had spent the majority of her chores time planning on exactly what to say to Remi during the two minute walk, the time that hadn't been spent flinging a chicken away and dancing around trying to shake the crap off her trouser leg. Seeing him walking, laughing, chatting with Kizzy... Two miserable minutes had been spent trying to look busy in case they turned around, waiting until they got back to the main building before she decided she could head back inside. Kizzy was probably just doing it to try and upset her, Faith reasoned, and the last thing she wanted was to look like she cared.

That was why, when Faith slammed open and shut her bedroom door and stalked into her room, seeing Laura was cause for her to scowl. At least Kizzy wasn't there, but the annoying little kid was almost as bad, and her complete lack of understanding regarding body language -i.e, Faith's was screaming fuck off- irritated her. It was obvious that she wasn't in the mood for a chat, why was Laura squeaking at her in that stupid, high-pitched voice? Normally she would have been a little more lenient, but today she really wasn't in the mood for it.

"Laura, can you just fuck off?" she asked rhetorically, not really listening, her voice a little loud as she headed over to her bed with the intention of crawling under the covers and refusing to come out until the next day. Who cared about dinner? There was a sheet of paper -no, two- on her bed and she stared at them for a minute, gritting her teeth and grabbing them. It occurred to her that she was being more than a little harsh to a mentally challenged teenager, but she didn't care at that exact moment in time. Instead, she carefully ripped each sheet of paper in half and in half again, throwing them across the floor and glaring at Laura. "Laura. I don't want to talk to you. I don't like you. I've had a bad enough day watching Little Miss Whore from the bunk over there practically make out with - with my friend, and I've had a bird shit on me, and the last thing I need is to have your pathetic little whining in my ear all night. You got it, retard?"

Keziah, unlike Faith, had enjoyed her daily chores, the stables were like a second home for her. And after her last two group session she found herself there more and more, slowly making friends with the milder equine residents, and perhaps even not being as rude to Finn and Maggie. She still felt like they were spoiled babies who complained far too much about insignificant things like the smell or a little dirt, but overall her attitude was mellowing towards them as it sharpened against Ellen but more directly Faith.

Heading back to the house at chore's end she ran into Remi and they talked about nothing in particular. He was a nice boy and she kind of liked him not in any sort of romantic way but he didn't bother her as much as say Finn or, someone else. They talked about which staffers resembled what animals giggling at the particularly spot-on examples. She had not laughed in a while, not since the blizzard, which had sucked in some ways but in others was worth the discomfort of the cold. She didn't think about Faith, and was glad she did not get chores with her, Maggie was bad enough with what seemed to be a combined allergy to both work and getting dirty, but at least she was just a little ...special, not quite the psychotic asshole as faith.

Waving to the playful young Frenchman as their paths forked, Keziah headed to the second floor, she smelled like she looked, a little dirty and sweaty with a must of horse and sweet hay. She really needed a shower and that was where she was heading, only Kizzy had to grab fresh clothes from the dorm first, she hoped quietly that the only person in side would be Laura, she was a nice kid, and aside from the belief she was evil didn't seem mad enough for Highgrove, she always wanted to ask but knew it was rude to-- she heard Faith voice and started to leave the area, but that little bitch had just told Laura to fuck off.

Kizzy slipped into the room and stood, arms folded, lips pursed into a thin line allowing Faith to precisely dig herself info a grave of her own making.
"Yes, I think she understands you, Perfectly, Faith." She could deal with the crap that Faith was giving her but picking on Laura was wrong, it was just cruelty with no point to it, like kicking a puppy that licked your toes for attention, turning to Laura her faced softened, "I'm sorry she said all that to you, if you head to the rec room I'll catch up to you really soon, but I'm smelly so I have to shower first." Kizzy hoped the little blond would head off, she really didn't want Laura to watch her deal with that girl.

After giving Laura a small smile she turned bath to the other blond, the scarred one and narrowed her eyes, "You really are nothing but a bully and a coward. You pick on Laura because you're in a shit mood and call me a whore, because deep down inside that sinful little heart," She walked deeper into the room closer to her adversary, "you know that because of that scarred face and personality... the only way you could keep a man's attention is to fuck 'im. You ignorant whore."

Laura looked up as Kizzy entered the room. She was glad to see her, but the lack of her usual bounce made the fact that Faith’s words had hit home fairly obvious. What was she supposed to do about Faith? She liked her, she didn’t want to make her sad, but what could she do? It was rude to just ignore people. She didn’t know why Faith hated her. Maybe Faith knew she was evil? But she’d never mentioned it. She just said she didn’t like her. Laura knew people didn’t always like it when she tried to talk to them. The people at the last place hadn’t either, they’d laughed at her a lot. Faith was upset and Laura wanted to help her, but… Faith didn’t want her around.

Kizzy was easier. And even though Laura was anxious to like everyone, Kizzy was one of her very favourite people and she never called her a freak or anything, not even once. Not even when they’d been pretending to be camping. Kizzy didn’t seem to mind when she said things people thought were strange or childish or in some way wrong. She nodded, and decided that she didn’t want to make things harder for Faith because she wasn’t feeling happy and Kizzy’s idea was a good one because they had chairs in there and she could curl up and draw things until she didn’t feel like there was a hole in her any more. And maybe she could see if she’d actually bruised her shoulder falling out of bed, or if it was just stiff because she’d slept funny. And then Kizzy could come back and she might tell her how to be with Faith or they could talk or draw or something. See horses maybe.

“Ok.” Laura stared at the torn scraps of paper on the floor for a second, her eyes picking out a frog-hand here, a part of leaf there, then picked up her pad of paper and pencils. She could feel the worry knotting in her chest again. Not just about Faith. About everything. In case she cried, the amount of paper she was using up… someone might know where she could ask for more but she had a small pile of used worksheets, scraps people had thrown away, things to draw on the back of that she’d hidden in her drawer. She cast another look at what remained of her picture, waved half-heartedly at Kizzy and quietly wandered away to the rec room, her usual bounce dampened by Faith’s words, which felt like they were burning in her chest. It was times like this Laura wished she could cry, to see if it’d help that feeling.

Faith was suddenly less concerned about Laura and much more focused on the fact that Kizzy, of all people, had entered the room. Everything she had shouted at Laura flashed back to her. How much had been heard? Her cheeks flushed as she remembered talking about 'Little Mrs. Whore' making out with her 'friend'. Oh dear. Aside from that major embarrassment, there was also the small matter of how...cruel she had been, and how Kizzy might frown upon her being a complete and utter bitch to Laura, who was probably Kizzy's only friend. The kid had slunk away by that point, leaving Faith to stand and face the girl she was fairly sure was about to punch her.

She wasn't sure how she felt about fights. In her entire life Faith had never been involved in a physical confrontation or been hurt - except, of course, self-inflicted pain which she classed in a totally different category. She had no idea how she'd do in a fight (and the tension in the air made it feel that it was unlikely not to end in one) but her general feeling was that, due to an utter lack of experience, she wouldn't do too well. On the other hand, she was about Kizzy's height, and the two girls were about the same weight... Faith decided to try and avoid the situation entirely. Maybe she couldn't lie about what had happened, but if she opened up, explained how she was feeling about everything, apologized to Laura, maybe then it would end without anything physical happening. Just as she was telling herself that she wasn't scared, just didn't want to get into trouble, the door closed behind Laura and Kizzy started speaking.

Silently, she stood and listened, almost trembling with a mixture of anger and upset by the time Kizzy got to the end of her little speech. The only way she could stop tears pouring down her face was by fixing an image in her mind, picturing a thin red line of blood bubbling up and appearing as she imagined cutting through her skin with a razor. It wasn't entirely enough, which was why Faith was in her usual position when she was feeling an unpleasant emotion, arms folded with her left fingers pinching and pulling at the sensitive skin of her right elbow. She just needed to focus on the pain, then it would go away, then the urge to cry would vanish along with the urge to punch Kizzy in the face...

"You're calling me a whore?" she asked, voice deadly quiet as she struggled to maintain control. "You're the one that fucks every boy in the school. Every boy I like, no less. You're a disgusting, slutty, useless waste of space that'll get out of here and have seven kids and live on the dole, because what else are you good for? Picking on other kids because they've got a little scar? You're pathetic. Faith couldn't think of much else to say and wanted to stop herself rambling on and on. Distantly, she knew that she was digging herself into a hole that would most likely end with security dragging the fighting girls apart, but that didn't seem to matter. She was too focused on not breaking down in front of Kizzy to care about anything else but hurting the girl as much as she had hurt her. That little whore.

Keziah had gotten to the point where Faith's actions (and most of her words) did not effect her outwardly. This was a dance she knew well, the rhythm had been taught to her when she still wore her hair in fishtail braids pulled tight by her resentful mother every morning who would shove her palm roughly into the Kizzy's back if she squirmed against those soft, harsh hands while sitting crossed legged on the floor, her little cheeks squished between her mother's knees, looking out into the horizon as the woman performed a mockery of a tender maternal ritual without the slightest care for the tender scalp her fingers raked through. Iseabail's words were always loaded, arrows tipped with poisonous cruelty aimed always at her only daughter's quiet spirit.
You tempt him with your sinful ways and that is why he strays...

This had been the language her mother communicated in from the first time father chose her. Keziah reasoned that Faith's actions towards her were tolerable, ignorant but she could take it, but picking on Laura was where she drew a line she didn't bother to think of for herself. The girl was nothing but nice to all of them-- even to Faith who clearly didn't deserve it-- and Kizzy who, when she a honest with herself, admitted she did not either. She watched Laura out of the corner of her eyes picking up the pieces of her drawing. It looked green, maybe a bird or a turtle? Kizzy would make a note to ask later and perhaps assist in re-assembly. Kizzy though of her own hand drawn present, she would look at Laura's picture in English when she felt like none of the stories their teacher went on about made any sense. Her fingers were always inexplicably drawn the the polar bear cub. It had its mum to protect it, Laura didn't and she was such a generally nice girl, no pretentiousness, she wasn't as piss as Maggie or a passive-aggressive little whiner or a complete psycho, he just had the misfortune of filling out girl's dorm four.

Keziah wasn't well versed in sizing up someone, despite being on the receiving end more times than she could remember, perhaps that was why. Keziah always assumed she would be the one spitting blood, it happened often enough that it was, in her opinion, very pragmatic. I did not dawn on here that a fight could be avoided between the pair, it seemed they were always on opposite ends of conflict, when Kizzy didn't want to fight, Faith did and the inverse was the same, but perhaps not they would stand united in the want to cause some physical damage. It seemed some things didn't change between women, no matter where they were. They always accused her of fucking some boy or man. Of all the trouble she ever got into in her single foster home and her previous children's homes it was never for sexual behavior of any sort. Now that she could exercise sovereignty over her body she did so by letting no one in. Faith had the unfortunate ability of finding Keziah's buttons, the things that hurt the most as they were aimed at her so frequently growing up, echoing the things she said about herself.

How Dare she mention children and how Dare she decide she could just write a destiny for her. This life was her own now and she was going to use it, no one could ascribe her a life like the one her father had planned. Keziah only half listened after the accusation of her exceedingly low worth in Faith's eyes, as her own started to mint over and her lips set a thin angry line. This heathen wasn't even worth her fist. Without another word to the little beast, Keziah raised her right hand, and sent it towards Faith's face with all her might, hoping to land the blow and if she were exceedingly lucky, knock the other girl on her ass. There were few things more humbling than a backhand, and Faith was in need of a few lessons in humility.

Faith was still shaking a little as she finished spitting out insults at Kizzy. She was ready for a retaliation of sorts, perhaps something about her face -something more about her face, but she was working on blocking that particular hurt out until she was alone and could cry freely- or maybe a jeer about boys, but she wasn't expecting what Kizzy actually did: a backhand that a tennis player would have been proud of. There wasn't any time to duck or move to lessen the blow, aside from reflexively shutting her eyes - even as Faith lifted her hands to protect her face the slap landed, hurting a whole lot more than she had expected.

Kizzy's hit was forceful enough that even as her head snapped around Faith stumbled backwards, managing to trip over her own foot and fall, landing in an undignified way straight on her ass. She was torn between pushing herself up and rushing at Kizzy and bursting into tears and clutching her face, which hurt like nothing she had experienced before; Faith had never been slapped in her life, excluding times where she hit herself in a fit of rage. Even then it was nothing like what Kizzy had done - it was hard to get the right angle to hit yourself around the face.

"You bitch," was all Faith could come up with for a few seconds as she sat, holding the red-hot and throbbing left side of her face. A few tears had slipped out without her notice and she slowly pushed herself up off the floor, too stunned to retaliate. Being slapped hurt, she came to realize, but it was important that Kizzy didn't discover that she was hurting. It didn't matter how much pain you were in: you should never show it, or the other person would just discover your weakness.

Faith forced herself to lower her hands to her sides and stare at the other girl coldly, managing to stop crying as she stood upright. "You think that hurt?" she asked sarcastically. "I put myself through ten times that every time I can get my hands on a razor blade, and that's just for starters. You think a stupid little slap is gonna make me burst into tears and say sorry that I told the truth about you, sorry that I said the truth, which is that you're a bald little bitch who everybody really hates?" Unconsciously she had taken a step backwards, putting herself slightly out of the range of a possible attack, although it would still be easy for one of the two girls to attack the other. "All the girls here hate you, don't you know that? Everybody wishes you'd get out of the dorm. You're just a bald little idiot who can't even wake up to get to the bathroom on time, god. Why don't you just go top yourself already?"

While her cruel words weren't really making chronological sense -Faith realized that they seemed like a random list of mean things to say to somebody- she thought that she'd got her point across: her feelings for Kizzy weren't exactly warm and fuzzy.

Kizzy didn't want to-- she couldn't bring up her hand to do it-- but father was watching and her hands were smaller, it wouldn't be as bad if she did it. Maybe if she was strong here, her next baby wouldn't die. Miriam looked terrified, but then she was only seven and she talked back, that would never do. the little girl had to learn for her own good. After willing her arm to stop trembling, Keziah quickly raised it, turned her wrist so the palm faced inward and released the blow towards her half-sister, shutting her eyes before impact, she didn't want to see Miriam's eyes after the strike.

"You hesitated, Keziah." Their father intoned simply though the edges of his voice were sharp. Both girls knew he was displeased, he never had to shout or raise his voice to make his feelings known. Keziah tucked her chin to her chest and exhaled a shakey breath, Father was looking at her and he was not to be kept waiting, "...she didn't mean to, Father, it was a mistake." Kizzy gasped when he lifted her chin off her chest to look in his eyes. She hated his eyes, they were like two impenetrable flinty coals seeming to lack any kind of empathy, "And how will she learn her place if you coddle her? She is seven, Keziah, and you know better. If you treat Miriam softly she in turn will soften her children." he paused on the final word, watching tears start to from at the corners of her eyes and released her chin before taking a step back, "Again."
"What?"
"Miriam has learned but you have not. You will strike her again. And again until I am satisfied that hesitation will stop."

There was no arguing or negotiation with Father. His word was all. Keziah didn't need Faith's confirmation that she had hurt the girl physically with her backhand, it was practiced and well-formed with the follow through of a tennis prodigy, father wouldn't have had it any other way. When Faith's head snapped back Keziah flinched, she'd never hit anyone when she was angry before, she resorted to less physical tactics, like kitty litter in a computer tower. A sudden burbling of guilt began in her stomach that she quickly pushed aside. She was not him, she was not like him. Faith deserved it, she didn't have to be mean to Laura, and she only did it because the girl was an easy target. No, Faith wasn't a victim, Faith was like Isaebail, stirring the pot and hiding her hands. She deserved the discipline. It was there the two girls had common ground; Keziah stood face unflinching against Faith's verbal assault. She would not falter, no matter what the other girl said, yes it hurt, but she would not be weak, Faith was wrong she was sinful and Keziah would not let the little ignorant harlot see her hurt. No matter what she said.

"I do not care what you do to yourself, but listen to me now; You will not speak to Laura that way again. You will apologise after dinner. You will from now on, either be pleasant or quiet towards her, because if you ever speak to to treat Laura like you did this afternoon," Keziah took a step forward and then moved another half step, she was not afraid to show the blond everything she learned at her father's tutelage, "I will drag you into the stables, by your hair, and make you eat a mount of horse dung with your hands. Are we clear? If you want to say something to, or about me, you will do so directly. Go through Laura again... and I. Will go. Through you."

Faith's mouth dropped open. As well as Kizzy being a selfish, inconsiderate bitch, she was actually threatening her, just like in a bad movie. She wasn't too sure what to say as the other girl kept talking, stepping closer intimidatingly. Instead of making eye-contact Faith stared down at the floor, biting her lip to keep it from quivering as self-pitying thoughts ran through her mind. All she'd done was tell an annoying little brat to get lost, what was all the fuss about? She knew that she had been dramatic and, she'd admit it, more than a little cruel. But was there really the need to be so...violent?

Kizzy finished talking and Faith searched for words. The situation probably called for a sarcastic comment, perhaps returning the slap that had ended her up on her backside, but she was too cowardly to actually do it. Although Kizzy's threat sounded ridiculous, somehow Faith didn't doubt that the other girl would actually carry through with it, somehow. After all, she wasn't above boy-she-liked-sort-of stealing - what would stop her from making another student eat horse shit? The staff obviously weren't any good in situations like that, she thought bitterly, seeing as they'd ignored the fight (if it could even be called that; one hit only) in the first place. They probably just ignored violence unless it threatened one of their own - why would they care about the patients?

A few seconds later Faith shrugged. "Sure," she mumbled. "I won't do...whatever. That. I won't be a bitch again. I get you, ok?" She didn't want to give Kizzy an excuse to head back to violence, or even cruel words. Shrugging again, she took a few steps backwards and then dared to turn away, sitting on her own bed and staring at her knees while still listening, hyper-aware, for any sound of Kizzy approaching. It was obviously the last time she'd ever get any sleep, having to listen out for the psycho in the bunk opposite - now it had been proved that Kizzy had no qualms about fighting, Faith was considering requesting a room change.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say to Laura when she was forced to apologize, but she knew she'd think of something. Something insincere, no doubt, but Faith was sure that the kid didn't have any sarcasm detectors. As long as Kizzy wasn't listening she could say whatever she wanted, just to be spiteful. She held back a sigh. It would be a lifetime of listening to Laura's babble and pretending to like her as long as she and Kizzy were sharing a dorm. A fate worse than death.