plain, leather-bound journal

25 December 2011

Merry Christmas, Lia. I know it's been a while, but I've not had time to write down my thoughts. You know how I've always been; write an entry, lose the journal. How many have I started? Well, I promised I'd do it someday, and this seems like a good time to begin again. This time, I'll stick with it, God willing.

Things may be looking up. I finally left A&E. You'd say I told you so. The stress was getting to me. I'm not a young man anymore, and though I love the work, I just can't be working fourteen hours a day, five days in a row. But I can't not, you know? Yes, you know.

I've a new position out in the middle of bloody nowhere. It's a lovely place, a bit old and stately. You'd hate it. I can hear you know, going on about there being no civilization for miles. It's this or running everything into the ground, and you'd agree, I think.

Daniel and I split. It was coming. I was never around, and when I was it was obvious what I'd been doing. I know, I know. I said I'd quit. I know I promised. And I will. Now that I'm here, I'm going to stop. Daniel never said it, and I didn't bring it up, but I know it was there. He's going off back to the US. "I want to be with other people." I'll never forget the look on his face when he said it. Bugger and fuck.

The pay is good, and there's full health benefits and the like. I'm not going to know what to do with all the spare time. I know, sleep. Eat something. I can hear it now. God, but I miss you.